Every man has had that obsession feeling. You met a girl or grew up with her. You may even have dated her but very likely have not. But now you find yourself obsessively thinking about her. It could be that girl you have been chasing forever, and now she is stuck in your mind.
You have met other women but there is none like her. Everything about her is amazing and she takes you off balance every time you think of her. Her smile is like the twinkling of the finest diamonds, and her laughter sounds like the purest crystal.
Getting her is your wildest dream. She could make you happy for the rest of your life. Perhaps she is the one you wish to marry. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for her. Yet, you can’t get her.
So, why is she stuck in your mind? How is it that you can’t stop thinking about her no matter what you do?
In this post, I Ogasabi of 9AM News Nigeria will explain why it is like that and what to do.
1) The special girl
Your obsession is likely fueled by the suspense of wondering whether or not you may be able to get her. Maybe there’s one special move, one trick in your sleeve that could make her fall head over heels for you.
It comes from the need to find something you want but can’t get. It also comes when you begin to struggle to get it without success, or you want it so bad that you keep trying, you get so obsessed that nothing else seems to make sense; you just want it.
It’s not your fault, but there is always something you can do to stop the obsession. But for now, just know that this woman might not be as special or perfect as you think in the long run.
I am not saying meeting someone special is wrong. Every man needs a woman he can love and care for (at least those who still believe in love!). However, you don’t have to let that feeling control you. Because when you do, you easily become a slave to the woman – or at least, to your vision of her.
2. The “What If” Effect
When I was growing up, there was this one girl in my class who I liked. However, it was difficult for me to ask her to become my girlfriend.
I always wondered what would happen if I asked and she rejected me. These questions kept bothering me every time I gathered the courage to speak to her. But the more I feared, the more I wanted to get her. It became my biggest obsession.
Things changed when I finally did it and she came through. All along, I had been afraid, asking myself the wrong questions when all I needed to do was confirm with her. She may also be craving a relationship given that you play your cards right and not be creepy. My worries and obsession would have magnified had I not taken that chance.
So, instead of wondering what might have happened for the rest of your life, I suggest you get on with it. If she is haunting your dreams, it’s because you think she is special and unreachable. It’s better to know it now than to keep wondering.
The power of obsession
The dictionary defines an obsession as “the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, or desire.”
When directed to the right course, obsession is not necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it’s a force that has pushed many people to succeed in business, art, science, and other spheres of life. It can improve your life.
In my experience, most charming, smooth, and suave men never get obsessed. So you need to start thinking differently. If that one girl you think is so special is stuck in your mind, it could be time to meet many other girls. If you have this idea stuck in your head about that one special girl, you won’t be able to make much progress with her.
What to do
Although women may enjoy flirting, most would be terrified of the idea of a man obsessing over them. This is because it usually does not end well for both parties.
If you think you’re obsessed with a girl you really should stop because women can sense your obsession. Most guys I have talked to who badly wanted that special girl have failed.
The problem is not always that the girl is hard to catch; it’s often the man’s obsession that’s the problem. The risk of getting highly emotionally invested with such a woman is that you will always trip over those emotions. You will always make a mistake and push her away even further.
Therefore, look for ways to get her out of your mind. Meet other girls, or do something else that occupies your mind while subtly making your feelings known to her.
