The dating scene can be complex. A lot of men sometimes pretending to be nice, caring and sweet often to get something from a potential partner; usually sexual favor, so here are sublt signs on how to know when a man is pretending to be nice.
But there are warnings signs that a self-centered man maybe be putting on a facade of niceness.
In this article Ogasabi of 9am News Nigeria expose some warning signs of a pretentious man and how to know when a man is pretending to be nice. You can know this when the man says things like:
1. “I’m a nice guy”
This phrase is a glaring red flag that signals a man isn’t actually nice. True nice guys don’t need to tell you that they’re nice guys, while someone who’s low-key not a good guy will pretend otherwise.
2. “My ex is crazy”
A man who bad-mouths his ex is the kind of man you want to avoid. Saying that someone is ‘crazy’ is a pejorative way of speaking about someone, and it disregards the validity of having mental health struggles. A man who says their ex-girlfriend is crazy usually denies their own culpability in conflict or any problematic behavior of their own. Calling someone crazy is never nice. Saying that about a person they once cared about indicates how little respect a man actually has for women.
3. “I’m just joking”
A man will use this phrase after he says something purposefully cruel as a way to protect himself from admitting that he did something wrong. He might insult your appearance or make fun of something you care about, but when you call him on it, he says that he’s only kidding. This phrase belittles women’s feelings and makes them doubt themselves for feeling hurt. After all, it’s just a joke. It’s a subtle and very common form of gaslighting, and if a man says this often, he’s probably not very nice.
4. “You’re so needy”
This phrase is often said as a way to invalidate women. A man who tells you that you’re needy is trying to make you feel bad for having emotional or practical needs, when really, everyone has needs. It’s an essential part of what makes us human! If you tell a man what makes you feel secure in a relationship and his response is that you’re needy, that’s his way of letting you know that he doesn’t care enough about you to meet your needs, and that he’s not a very nice person.
5. “It’s your fault”
Finally, When men tell women that things are all their fault, it reveals their inability to hold themselves accountable for any mistake they may have made. Furthermore, a man who’s a blame-shifter is showing you just how low their emotional intelligence is, as people who blame others have poor emotional regulation skills. This in itself doesn’t make a man mean, but if you call attention to his behavior and he doesn’t try to change, it’s a sign that he’s not willing to make an effort for you, which isn’t very nice
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