Learn about the common first date mistakes to avoid with expert advice from 9am News Nigeria and Ogasabi. Ensure a smooth and successful first date by avoiding these pitfalls
Some first-date etiquette probably goes without saying: don’t show up late, don’t start scrolling on your phone while they’re talking to you, and definitely don’t pressure them into a goodnight kiss.
But most dating coaches agree that guys and girls often unknowingly make other mistakes and these mistakes grievously hurt their chances at landing a second date.
The impression you make on a first date is incredibly important because it sets the foundation for everything that might come next.
On 9am News Nigeria Ogasabi is delighted to share some common first date mistakes that most people unknowingly make.
1. Holding Back on the Compliments
As much as flirting sometimes comprises teasing the other person, don’t forget the power of complimenting your date. Compliments make people feel good. If you make your date feel good, they’ll then associate being in your presence with those positive emotions. That means they’ll want to hang around you more. It’s that simple.
Complimenting your date will make them feel more confident, especially at a time when first date jitters have set in.
Remember: Good compliments should always be genuine and they definitely don’t have to be about your date’s physical appearance, either. Something like “Wow, You have the best laugh” can go a long way.
2. Trying Too Hard to Impress Them
Of course, you want your date to think you’re awesome by the end of the night. But contrary to what you might believe, talking about yourself the whole time isn’t going to accomplish that. Instead of being impressed by your career, income, or lifestyle, they’re probably going to think you’re arrogant and self-centered.
Overemphasizing your achievements, material possessions, or social status can come across as inauthentic or even off-putting. This can often leaves the other person feeling undervalued and ignored. Instead, strive for a balanced conversation. Ask open-ended questions about your date’s interests and experiences, and listen actively. This not only shows that you’re genuinely interested but also fosters a more engaging and reciprocal dialogue.
3. Bringing the Negative Energy
A first date is not the place to vent!
Remember: They don’t know you yet. So, if you start ranting about everything that’s going wrong they’ll assume this is your default mode.
Complaining about work, previous relationships, or other personal grievances on a first date can create a negative atmosphere and make your date uncomfortable. A first date should be about showcasing your positive qualities and ensuring your date enjoys their time with you. Keep the conversation upbeat and focus on enjoyable topics. This helps create a more pleasant and memorable experience for both of you.
So, even if your boss insulted you during a meeting, try to not share those kind of information.
Positivity is universally appealing.
Before your date, listen to fun music or think of memories that put you in a good mood. This positive energy will come across as confident yet humble, open, and inviting. Avoid discussing heavy topics like politics and religion. Instead, talk about things that make you happy and see if your date can match your vibe.
4. Getting Distracted
Whether it’s checking your phone or glancing around the room, acting distracted can signal that you’re not fully present. This can make your date feel like they’re not a priority.
So, do whatever you need to do to remain fully present during the date. Put your phone away. In fact, consider silencing it unless you’re on call for some kind of emergency. If you know you tend to get easily distracted by what’s happening at other tables around the room, sit in the seat facing the wall, and try to consciously make eye contact with your date.
Try to avoid staring for long at the TV screen in the bar. Experts say this can make your date feel insecure that you’re not enjoying yourself if you’re more invested in what’s happening in the TV rather than getting to know the person you’re having a date with.
5. Oversharing
While allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share details about your life, interests, and aspirations is a great way to build a connection with your date, it is possible to go overboard with how much information you reveal.
Sharing too much about your past, particularly details about exes or difficult experiences, can be overwhelming for someone you’ve just met. It’s important to establish a deeper rapport first before delving into sensitive personal stories.
So, consider keeping those initial conversations relatively light and save the more intimate disclosures for later in the relationship when you’ve built some trust and rapport.
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