For men who are struggling with getting women to feel sexual attraction to them and can’t seem to work the magic, Ogasabi of 9AM News Nigeria has compiled for you FIVE important mistakes you are likely making which are unknown to you yet working against your chances with women.
1) Talking Instead of Listening
Most guys are looking for those special words that are going to instantly make a woman fall for them. Unfortunately, these so called magical pick up lines don’t really exist. Don’t worry – the good news is there is nothing special you need to say anyway. You don’t really need to worry about having memorized routines, amazing stories and witty teases. In fact, the quickest and easiest way to attract a woman is by remaining silent and getting her to talk about things like her goals and her passions. It’s no secret that every woman loves to talk about her favorite subject, herself. And the good news is the person who is talking is the person who is qualifying. In other words, she is now the one trying to impress you instead of the other way around. Plus women will stay with you much longer when they get to talk about their lives. That means more time to seduce them.
2) Being Social Instead of Seductive
Are you the shy silent type who prefers relaxing with friends more than running around entertaining the ladies. Well good news – there is really nothing special you need to do in order to attract women either. That’s because there is a natural tension between men and women called sexual tension. This tension is always there just waiting for you to tap into it. And surprisingly, the best way to do this by being seductive and serious, not social.
Look, of course women appreciate a funny, interesting guy that can make them laugh and entertain the crowd. The problem is after a while all of the talking, witty banter and joke telling reduces the sexual tension between you. That’s a problem because this natural tension is your best tool for creating attraction and getting the girl. It may seem counterintuitive, but all of the dating advice you have received in your life up to this point, no matter how well-intended, has actually been preventing you from using this natural sexual tension to your advantage. To be blunt, you have been trying to attract women the hard way.
3) Touching Her Too Much
Look, you don’t get additional points for doing extra touching. Unless your subtle touching or caressing gets returned and becomes mutual it meant nothing. When you leave it all gets erased as if it never happened.
I’m not saying not to do those very subtle touching at all – just don’t overdo it. In fact, it’s actually better if you don’t touch her all that much, at least at first.
That’s because when you only reveal your interest in a woman with your vibe (no words, no touching) sexual tension is created. In other words, she now becomes very curious of your true intentions.
4) Attraction First, Escalation Second
It seems to make sense. Attract her first and then later on make your move. Unfortunately, it’s not always guaranteed that you will be given the necessary time it takes in order to attract a woman.
Look, there is lots of debate over what exactly is attractive to women. Is it best to use social proof, be alpha or just make fun of her. But I’m sure you would all agree that escalation is attractive. Meaning just by making a move, no matter what happens after that, you will be seen as more attractive. The reason escalation is attractive is because it shows confidence. You are basically saying “I assume you like me so I am going to escalate” No matter her reaction she will at least respect you and view you as a sexual man.
On the other hand doing special stuff to attract women often comes off as trying too hard. Meaning, just the fact that you felt you needed to say and do “special” things in order to make a woman like you is often viewed as trying too hard and women don’t dig that. Some may take the advantage to get money out of you when you seem to be trying too hard.
Of course when I talk about escalation being attractive I’m not talking about groping or harassing women with lewd compliments.
5) Putting it All on the Line
Like a high-stakes poker game most guys go “all in” when it comes to finding out if a woman likes them.
They usually start out acting like a disinterested friend and then out of nowhere lung in for a kiss. It’s no surprise when most times a woman will simply turn away making the vibe awkward and often beyond repair. In other words, you are out of the game. You have no more chips.
Thankfully, there is a much smoother way to escalate. Instead of making one big move, you will want to use a series of small moves. For example, instead of asking for her number, which she can reject verbally, just look at her seductively. Or instead of touching her, which she can reject physically, simply move very close to her. By only showing your interest in her non-verbally she will have nothing tangible to reject. Thus, she will feel comfortable giving you more time and more chances to succeed. In the meantime, these small seductive moves help you start building a sexual connection. Then before she even knows what happened – she realizes she is attracted to you.
For more insights, stay tuned to Ogasabi on 9am News Nigeria, your go-to source for relationship advice and more.
